just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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