I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
