very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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