Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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