Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
