Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
