I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize