why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
