We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
