I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
