Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize