What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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