i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
