At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
