is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My penis needs a shock collar
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
