well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
