I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
