that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
