I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
