I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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