I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
