im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
