Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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