i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
