Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
