I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
