Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
