She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
