If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
