this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Acid is not a monday night drug
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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