Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
