I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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