No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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