please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
