Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
