Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
