But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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