I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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