His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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