She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
