Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I yelled at your uterus for you.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
