nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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