1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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