Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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