i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
