i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
