I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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