i jhust puked up my retainher.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
