this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
