real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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