Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
