I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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