For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
