I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
