I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
