i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
