he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
