My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize