you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
