if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
