this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
