Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Randomize
