He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
That's intense
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
