Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize