tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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