She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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