i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
