I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
