are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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