Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
