You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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