So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
