I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
